Limited Edition Oreo Cookies Super Mario the collaboration is now available for purchase at Walmart and other major retailers. The themed packaging of the cookies advertises them as “collectible”, which is also what mold spores would describe if they could.
But mold is not comparable Mario. Like Oreo’s previous limited collaboration with Pokémon (boxes of which are being resold on eBay for thousands of dollars) and Lady Gaga (fans buried these cookies in glitter resin and sold them on Etsy for tens of dollars), on Mario Oreos are designed to satisfy superfans’ inherent need to eat more, and then more. Some people even ordered them in advance last week to make sure nothing would stand between them and their Nintendo cookie but a dollop of vanilla ice cream.
Despite the fanfare, you’d be inclined to think that these simple-looking Oreos are just plain Oreos, but they’re actually plain Oreos with Mario, Luigi, Bowser, or one of 13 other designs stamped on them.
“These cookies look really good, and I also think they’ll taste really good, so I’m giving them a five-star review,” wrote an early reviewer on Oreo’s website.
“Super Mario Bros. cookies,” said another five-star review of the site. “I love Oreos.”
Princess Peach will not be included in Oreos, a said the press release, because Bowser kidnapped her before they could stamp her on the chocolate. To find it, players will need to scan a QR code on their cookie packaging, which otherwise displays the typical composition of Super Mario grinning and running under a blue-raspberry sky.
“Stop the troublemaker Bowser from taking over her castle,” the press release urges. “Here’s what you have to do: On the rim of a glass of milk, stack as many character-embossed cookies on top of a Bowser cookie until he’s defeated (aka the cookies fall into the milk.) Share a video of the delicious defeat on social!”
“We may even reveal a surprise as a thank you to those who successfully defeated Bowser and saved the kingdom… Fans will have to wait and see!” added Oreo Senior Brand Manager Vishnu Nair.
Okay, that’s stupid. In any case, at Amazon, the cookies from $5.29 meet the basic requirements, but they are listed at a slightly cheaper $4.58 per pack on Walmart’s website. Although they were only released today and are probably far from sold out, the enterprising Oreo wizards are already selling them for six times the price on eBay. It’s not fair—the price for saving the cookie kingdom must be paid in milk.